The Icelandic Phallological Museum has recently caught the public’s attention again, as reports in Reuters highlight the museum’s strange displays of male reproductive organs. Run by Sigurdur Hjartarson, the museum does not yet have a human penis on display, but Hjartarson says he has four offers for post-mortem donations.
The museum opened in 1997 and has become increasingly popular with international visitors who come from around the world to glimpse the original bull’s penis that started the collection as well as 261 other preserved phalluses which are on display.
The largest specimen is a 1.7 metre-long sperm whale penis, weighing 70 kilograms. In contrast, visitors must be assisted by a magnifying glass if they want to see the two millimetre long hamster penis bone.
Visitors can also view certificates from a German, an Icelandic, a British and an American man who have all promised their penises to the museum upon their deaths. The American has supplied a life-size plastic mould of his member, which he calls “Elmo” in place of the real thing, as part of his pledge to donate.
Most likely the first human specimen will come from Iceland, where a man who is currently 93 and living in Akureyri has promised to donate. Hjartarson said the man hoped to win eternal fame by contributing to the museum’s displays.
Hjartarson worries that as the man gets older, he may be rethinking his decision, however. “He has mentioned lately that his penis is shrinking as he gets older and he is worried it might not make a proper exhibit,” Hjartarson said.
The museum is located in Husavik, 480 kilometres from Reykjavik, and is open from May to September. Visitors, 60 percent of whom are women, can locate the building by finding the large brown phallus near the entrance.
I know who the American penis donor is – me. And I have decided to have surgery and have my entire penis removed (yes, named ELMO) complete with roots, both testicles with cords, my entire scrotum and some pubic scalp.
Within hours of the surgery, “Elmo” will be preserved by the process known as Plastination, and presented to the Iceland Penis Museum for permanent display.
The surgery will be done as soon as we have a new tattoo done on Elmo’s head, covering an old tattoo. Soon. Very soon.
Elmo is too large, I simply cannot use him much of the time. It’s the right thing to do.