Visir.is thanks its readers for responding so well to their call for kreppa jokes. Kreppa is the Icelandic word for recession (and also the verb ‘to clench’, like a fist). Here we attempt to bring them to a non-Icelandic speaking audience!
Kreppa is a word that Icelanders often do not bother to translate into English; and which some English speakers outside Iceland have already adopted – possibly from the ‘Kreppanomics’ article in The Economist a few months ago.
Kreppa is a great sounding word, so please, feel free to take it, compliments of IceNews. But anyway, back to the story: Visir.is posted the first batch of jokes on their website this week. If you don’t laugh, remember that jokes sometimes lose something in translation…
How do you get rid of the stockbroker at your front door?
Just pay him for the pizza!
Do you know how to save a risk investor (probably best translated into English as speculator (?)) from drowning?
No?
Good.
Back to the future
Five reasons to believe it is now 1975:
1. We are at war with the British
2. There are foreign currency restrictions
3. Inflation is going crazy
4. The most popular songs are by ABBA
5. The Prime Minister is called Geir and is from the Independence Party
The hot air balloon
A man in a hot air balloon notices that he is losing height. He then notices a woman on the ground so lowers his balloon a little further and calls to her: “Excuse me! Can you help me? I promised to meet my friend and hour ago, but I don’t know where I am.”
The woman answered: “You are in a hot air balloon which is hovering at a height of ten metres, between 40 and 41 degrees north and between 59 and 60 degrees west.”
“You must work with computers,” said the man.
“I do indeed,” answered the woman. “How did you know?”
“Well,” the man replied, “All that you just said is technically right, but I have no idea what I’m supposed to do with the information, and am therefore still lost. It’s fair to say you’ve not really helped me at all. If anything, all you have done is made me even later.”
The woman replied: “Ah, you must be a politician.”
“Yes,” the man said in surprise. “But how could you know that?”
“Well,” she said, “You knew neither where you were, nor where you were going. Only hot air has got you to where you are right now. You actually admitted you don’t have a clue how to sort out your situation, and you expect people below you to sort out the problem for you. And you are now in the same situation as when we just met, but now all of a sudden it’s my fault.”
“What do the Icelandic banks and an Icelandic nudist have in common?
Their most valuable things are frozen!”
Found at icelandsays.blogspot.com, a collection of very personal and honest stories by students of the Reykjavik College. Great insights into how Icelandic youths feel about the economic crisis, and how it affects them. Highly recommended!
Ok, here’s one I made up myself. I hope it is any good:
What is the difference between laxatives and deregulation?
It’s only a small one, mainly in the spelling.
Laxatives result in a fast crap, deregulation in a vast Kreppa.
Good stuff! In America, our take on that joke is:
Do you know how to save a drowning lawyer? And don’t worry…all the jokes seem to translate very nicely! :)
I am sure you know about these guys, they actually made me laugh out loud! (.http://newiceland.net/)
Hope all of this ends for you guys, soon.
Iceland needs a laugh!Obama/Mccain dancing/ http://minimovies.com/film-128460-McCain-Obama%20Dance-Off
good ones!
my favorite
the hot air balloon…
perfectly captures
politiians the world over… LOL
A good laugh can’t solve the state of the economy
(Iceland’s or the world’s in general) but humor helps keep us grounded with a healthy grip on life, which enables hope to float.
…I think kreppa is a great sounding word and
nothing lost in the translation here….. :)
**** UK KREPPA COMING QUICK ****
Q…. WHAT IS THE ONLY PLACE THE KREPPA BRITISH POUND CAN BUY YOU CHEAP HOLIDAY?
A…… ICELAND ..ISNT THAT IRONIC
Brilliant :)
http://www.eignaland.is/veftv/default.asp?MovieID=614&CategoryID=49
What do you call 500 risk investors at the bottom of the ocean ?
A GOOD START !
Well done!
I also do my best for humor in kreppa!
binnasblog.blogspot.com
Thanks – it’s great stuff really! I especially enjoyed the ‘Hot air baloon’ and the stockbroker.
Icelanders, all the best to you, our fellow Europeans in the very north! :)
Found this banner of Glitnir on a norwegian website with the text:
Glitnir Bank
Kjent som en av Norges beste på innskuddsprodukter i privatmarkedet
(Known as one of Norway`s best on saving products in the private market)
It is quite ironic when you see picture of the church under :)
http://www.trekearth.com/gallery/Europe/Norway/photo503334.htm
A fisherman, a shepherd and a banker are performing their first parachute jump. On the ground, their instructor is watching their drop. He sees one chute opening, then another one, and the third – doesn’t open at all, and only some gleamy bricks fall out of the bag. Seconds later, something hits the grass with an awful bang.
The instructor is shocked and runs to the guy standing next to the first parachute: “For heaven’s sake, what went wrong?”
“Damn, I dunno”, says the fisher.
And from underneath the second chute the shepherd calls:
“That effing banker won’t listen to me!
I told him not to use that golden parachute!”
(ok, maybe not that funny, but somehow I like the idea)
The good news-bad news story….
A bus load of bankers went off a cliff in the Westfjiords – that’s the good news. The bad news is that there was one seat free.
First and the best from the batch of the crisis related jokes is the following well known one:
- What is the capital of Iceland?
- About EUR 1.3.
What do Icelandic bankers say when they want to diss a colleague?
He looks like a million kronas!